Petitions to Mary

Before I accept the first petition, I must make a confession. I really started this blog hoping it would become an advice column. Answering others' questions prompts me to write, and helps keep me from making this blog uncomfortably personal. Thank you, readers, for saving me from inappropriate sharing! And now, without further ado, lets get to a Petition to Mary.

Dear Mary Like The Saint,
I am going to be married in 10 months (and 9 days) and have a dilemma that I think you can help me with. My fiance and I have been together for four years, so we've seen the best and the worst of each other. I've heard of women "pretending" to be a virgin before their marriageto make their first night together special, but this seems silly. How do I make that "spark" happen on the honeymoon? Please lend your"like a virgin" wisdom to me!
Sincerely,
Tainted in Tucson

Dear Petitioner,
Let me begin by insisting that I've made no pretense of chastity; that is the inestimable Madonna. One need not be virginal to be like a saint.

And that begins to answer your inquiry. I think the poor souls who feel it necessary to take a sex hiatus shortly before a wedding so they can fake some kind of purity they no longer possess are doing themselves and their partners a great disservice. They are buying into an antiquated notion that the only gift a woman brings to a marriage is her maidenhead. You have a lot more to offer your future husband than access to sex. He can probably easily get that elsewhere, anyway. Not to worry you.

However, a period of sexual separation before your wedding can serve a valuable purpose. Time apart gives you a chance for reflection, and a space to be with just yourself. This effort on yourself will allow you to have more to give to your partner when you do come together. You'll have something to discover about each other, which is what happened to you while you were apart. In addition to this, reuniting sexually is a way to consciously recommit to one another, which you will be doing for the rest of your life together.

Have a great honeymoon, whether you decide to have a celibate period beforehand or not!

Blessings,
Mary