Mary Like the Saint

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

In Full View

So, I belong to a church email listserv. PRoblem, I know. It seems important to these two individuals to have their conversation in full view of all those reading the emails. Why can't they have a private conversation about it? Why do I need to be subjected to this? Group speech was left to deft orators. Now, any schlub can grab an audience. Oy.

The more things change...

You know the rest. You know how I long to do something, anything. I am full of things to say, to write. And yet afraid. So very afraid. To matter, or not to matter.

I find myself obsessively reading social media feeds, trying to find exactly the right sentiment to forward as a post for myself. Instead of just writing my own post.

I have spent years thinking of these hard things. I am woke. Or am waking. I have been waking. I want so much to help others out of bed. These things matter. It matters that I do my own small part, even if I don't do that part perfectly. I am the only one who can do my part. It has gone undone for too long.

I've imagined so many other blogs I could be writing. "But Have you Considered?" a thoughtful progressive's earnest attempts to actually persuade others over, around, and through their blind spots that cause so much pain. "Love Bandwagon," yet another privileged white woman of a certain age reflecting on her experience with polyamory. Because my insights are so different from all the other privileged white women. "That'll preach," a seminary-uneducated individual's attempt to reflect and write words that matter about things that are important. Because my thoughts on scripture, or God, or my Christian obligation, are so much deeper than all those incredibly wonderful clergy's thoughts.

There, there it is again. The fear to show my light. Who cares if other people have had similar insights before? Those were their insights. I've been so grateful to those who have shared their insights. Mine are shareable, too. Mine are worth sharing.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Again, again

I thought about starting a blog.  I knew I'd made attempts in the past.  I went looking for the attempts and found this.

I think about writing, sometimes.  I want to have a voice.  I want to make something instead of endlessly consuming others' somethings.

But I am also afraid.

It helps to know no one is looking.

Friday, February 04, 2011

I am still here.

Just saying.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

I Want to Believe

I just saw an advertisement for "Yes Man." The reviews of it I've read mostly comment on how this movie is simply re-treading familiar ground for him. Some go further, saying that the repetition is beginning to look a bit frayed around the edges.

But I liked the premise: a guy who has been saying no to life starts saying yes. Okay, from a certain angle, the wacky antics look a little similar to other, possibly better movies. I still think there's value in that premise, though. Start saying yes.

It doesn't take so long to establish familiar ground to re-tread, particularly at these loaded annual mileposts. And I can't be the only one who also notices the unruly edges around the rituals, formal and informal, that take place.

I mean, it's another year ending, and here I am making a blog post, thinking about resolutions and new beginnings, again. The themes keep coming around. Maybe we walk this ground because there's something new to be found on that old path, some detail we've missed. Maybe if we lift our feet just so this time, something different will rise up to meet us.

Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

One of Those Days

Sadly, this happened at my childhood home. Keith and his girlfriend were beat up and we don't yet know what was taken.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

And So It Begins...

At least it began for me today.

I ran my first two miles in preparation for the half-marathon. I managed a 10-minute mile pace. Not a bad start. I have big dreams, though. As always.

Miles run: 2
Money raised: $125

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Let's Get it Started in Here!

So, in the never-ending quest for self-betterment and grand adventure, I've signed up for Team in Training to run a half marathon over Labor Day weekend. In addition to having to relearn to run distances, I have also committed to raising money to research cures for blood cancers and provide services to people currently suffering from them.

So, I have ANOTHER opportunity to start blogging again to talk about my progress. Yay! There's life in this old blog yet.

You can see my fundraising web site here. I'll be updating that page and this one (well, that's the plan, anyway). Wish me luck!

Miles run: 0
Money raised: 0